http://ping.fm/p/JQkfN - My date fell asleep and won't kiss me. :|

Speaking of Android, how about that Dick Clark folks?

I'm in love with my smexy new G1. Call/Text me: (480) 559-4119 also email/send me your numbers if I should have it. Happy 2009 everybody! :*

Cloudzangel: Part III - The Final Chapter?

The gift that keeps on giving, now I've been nice and calm the entire time. Once she told me to go away, I did! I left her alone, didn't message her once.. I moved on and went about my business.

What happened? The next day she IMs me out of the blue (I have no idea why) - I thought it'd stop there since she didn't respond.

But I guess not, minutes ago I got this beautiful comment from "Jack Mesereau" (jackmesereau@yahoo.com)

Now, We can be 95% sure this is same girl that is now harassing me.

• Repeating specific phrases that she's said to me in the past week.
• Rambling on like a bitch for 3 paragraphs worth in 1 paragraph.
• Typing like a girl. (Well I've never heard a dude say "so chill." - but I'll give her that one for free.

But who is this new person to the mix, "Jack Mesereau?" Let's go to the Google and find out, kids.

Wow, only 2 results? That should make this easy.

What's the first result?

It looks like it's a page called REFFERENCES.HTML at www.rachelstormz.com, but it doesn't work. But luckily the Google is on our side, and it's cached! Let's have a look-see.

Woah, this looks pretty familiar? Where have I seen a design like this before?

Oh yeah, that's right.. "Cloudzangel" has a site that looks exactly like this.

Well what kind of refference does "Jack Mesereau" leave for "Rachel Stormz?"

What a nice review!

I wonder what the second Google result for our friend Jack is?

It goes to a lady's blog entry from 2006, her name is Tara, and she's a camgirl on the internet (I'm beginning to see a pattern here, gang!) - but the post itself is deleted!

I don't know why it was deleted, but the Google comes through again, it's cached!

She basically says that some cam girl stole the FAQ section of her site that mentions our boy "Jack Mesereau" as being a fake, apparently it's even a joke about Tom Mesereau or something? I don't know. But you gotta hand it to these camgirls, Tom Mesereau is pretty funny looking.

Anyways.. back to "Rachel Stormz" .. what if we Google her? There only seems to be a result at complaints.com and complaintsboard.com saying basically the same thing:

But then who is this "Rachel Stormz?"

Wait.. hold on a second... "STORMZ?" "CLOUDZ?"

Shit, what's the next one going to be called, Brittney "HURRICANEZ?"

Let's google again my friends, and what do we find?

Heavenly STORMZ.

Shit, I was close. :[

Whoops, "Megan" it looks like you did a shitty job covering your tracks because your tagline says "Cum N play with me today at RachelStormz.com!" (Get it?! CUM! Hah! Clever girl!)

Dear Megan (Or whatever the hell your name is),

I understand that you are a cam girl who uses weather synonyms with Zs at the end of them to make Freewebs template sites full of myspace-angleed pictures of you doing suggestive things in order to get lonely men on yahoo to send you money. Don't you think you can get a better job? You'd be good as a Dateline decoy maybe? I don't know.

Wait.. is that why you added me to twitter? You needed a sugar daddy?

You should have just asked, baby!

Love,

Jamie Martin.

P.S. How much does it cost to see you on cam?

Peter Gabriel has a song called Shock the Monkey? I didn't even know they had flash banner ads back then.

Go ahead and uninstall the Twitter client you're using now and use http://twoogie.com instead. It's Twitter, Doogie Howser, M.D. Style

Best palindrome of all time? "taco cat"

Another email to tell me I've unsubscribed? Golly, thanks!

If you don't mind, folks, I'd like to consider the option that we may just have to do it live.

Somebody needs to make the Top 10 Top 10 Lists of 2008

I'm looking for good IRC channels to hang out in, any fun off-topic ones or good trivia channels would be appreciated.

Not one Obama plate or coin! :( BRB Suicide.

Portfolio Advice

I'm thinking about redesigning my portfolio.

Check out this proof of concept, using some javascript inline images.

Ignoring the design on both pages, which one do you think is more of a pleasure to use?

I'd like the end-user to be able to breeze through my portfolio using in-line images if it's not annoying, but I don't know if it's more annoying to have to click through my current portfolio each time per image.

What do you guys think?

Any thoughts/criticism would be appreciated.

December 24th is always the worst night to be alone.

Happy Festivus!

Thriller just came on my Last.fm radio station, I guess Christmas came early this year!

If I don't find a Barack Obama commemorative coin or plate under my tree tomorrow I'm going to be disjointed in the lot of you.

What's everybody doing for New Years eve? Can I be a part of your plans? :3

Wes Welker just got unsportsman-like conduct for making a snow angel in the end-zone. Let that be a lesson to you all! Snow Angels = Cocky

Gone with the Wind?

I'm really considering a MSI Wind, anybody here have one? Or know somebody who does?



Maybe you heard something about it?

TGIF guys! That means Thank Goodness I Farted, right?

Time named Barack Obama their person of the year?!! Have they even _seen_ @THE_REAL_SHAQ 's twitter?!!

I got my new Mew in the mail today http://tr.im/2eke - Anybody have any feeding/caring tips for it?

I shouldn't be working - I should be playing in the rain!

President Bush dodged those shoes faster than the Vietnam Draft

Wow it's coming down hard here.

Best Bank Rates in Arizona

I was shopping around for a new bank account and decided to do a little research. I found that a couple of the credit unions around here have some pretty sweet deals on free checking accounts.

What's there to lose?

Arizona Bank and Trust - 5.01%
Credit Union West - 5.01% APY
First Credit Union - 3.15% APY
Desert Schools Federal Credit Union - 3.00% APY

Everybody else is pretty much offering 0%.

I'm going to stop by Arizona Bank and Trust on monday to check it out.

Just thought you all might like the information, take care.

Anybody wanna play tonight?

"The Beatles - Popular this week in the United States" - Way to be 50 years late to the party, last.fm

I'd like to sign up Rick Moranis for a gymnastics class so I could see him Rick-roll people.

Maintenance just came by to water my plants in my office while I'm blaring "O Come All Ye Faithful" by Twisted Sister. Epic Win.

EVERBODY: I SAID WARM, NOT HOT. Obvs all of them would be best fresh. But are better cold rather than reheated. P.S. It was joke P.P.S. STFU

Dishes that are better cold than warm: 1) Pizza 2) Tacos 3) Revenge

Have you ever thought "Gee, I wish I had TABS in Photoshop?" Yeah, me neither.

I just cropped this banner for Toshiba incorrectly, all it displayed was "OSHI"

Twitter should do like Myspace did with Tom, and have new users auto-follow @THE_REAL_SHAQ

Seen on the way to work this morning: A van with "Wash me kthx" written into the dirt. I was tempted to get out and write "No Wai!"

"We have some Viking problems" - Good thing I'm in the appliance industry, otherwise this phrase would have a new meaning.

Which pair should I get? http://jumpinjammerz.com

Once you go Black, you never go Mac

Cheetahs are endangered now. Everybody needs to do their part and buy more Cheetos. We're with you in this hard time, Chester.

My Archaeologist friend is getting a Stonehenge cake for her birthday. I'd like a Cascading Style Sheetcake in July, please.

I've never had a full day of football effect my dreams before. But it's nice to know the subconscious me has some kickass touchdown dances.

Oh "The Critic," what a brilliant little TV show you were

Buckwild from Flavor of Love just left me a comment. Who's next? Does anybody have Gary Busey's email address?

Get Buckwild

It's nice to know that Buckwild from Flavor of Love, various reality TV shows likes to read what I say on the internets.

Dear Kanye West

You are not Elliot Smith, you are not Johnny Cash. We don't really like it when you make a sad music album, it comes off really boring.

Don't get me wrong, I loved 'Roses' and I don't mind you slowing it down for us every once in a while, but let's try to keep it to a ratio.

I'm suggesting a 7:1 ratio.

For every boring 'Love Lockdown' you have to give us seven club bangers that everybody loves.

I'm talking about 'Stronger,' 'The New Workout Plan.' etc.

Also, if you'd like to know more about Stephen Colbert, he has a wikipedia page.

Love,
Jamie Martin

Real talk; anybody who prefixes what they say with "real talk" is retarded and probably doesn't even know how to use a semicolon.

Top Queries of 2008 related to "Ninjas Are..."

1. ninjas are there


2. ninjas are everywhere


3. ninjas are better


4. ninjas are awesome


5. ninjas are sexy

December 5th is the Day of the Ninja. People are either celebrating too little, or they're too damn good for us to notice.

Things I'm Pretty Sure Are Conspiracies

• The Letter "C"


• Advertising


• Salted Peanuts


• Katy Perry


• Lava Lamps


• Moths


• Precipitation


• Left Socks


• Boy Bands


• The Space Time Continuum


• Aracy's Connection Thereof


• Livejournal


• The Way Trees Lose Their Leaves


• Cincinnati


• Aliens


• Pencil Sharpeners


• Girls


• Tom


• "Y" as a Vowel


• Wedding Rings


• Mareen


• Easy Mac


• The Political Correctness of Today's Disney Movies


• Bird Legs


• Itchiness


• Those Rainbows that Crystals Make When You Hold Them Up to
  the Light


• West Virginia


• Jerky (Especially Beef)


• DVDs


• The Subaru Logo


• Domestic Rodents


• Girls


• Waffle Houses


• Addictive Additives in Chocolate


• Swivel Chairs


• Carson Daily


• The Abbreviation "Mr."


• The Smell of Porcelain

In hell the only website you can visit is www.rapidshare.de

"Cyber Monday?" Every Monday is a Cyber Monday for me! ASL?