If you check into the Lincoln Memorial on Foursquare you should get the "I'm a tool" badge.

I'm about to go on a walking tour of DC led by a pirate. I love Halloween.

Dude, Waldo moves fast. I've seen him like 20 times today.

Favorite 3 signs so far: "Too much Tea Party not enough Mr T Party"
"One rally to rule the mall" (Dressed as Gandalf)
"Excuse me pardon me"

I have never seen so many people in one location in my entire life.

"Lawyering Up" refers to when you hire a lawyer.

"Lawyering Down" refers to when they dance about it afterwards.

In Soviet Russia, No Thanks You

Let's get a roll-call going. Who's going to be in DC this weekend?

Who's going to apologize for the apologists?

If your result on WTFSHOULDIBEFORHALLOWEEN.COM contains "Flanders" you get "STUPID SEXY FLANDERS" 3 very lucky people have gotten this.

The Miami Heat currently have the worst record in the NBA

Antoine Dodson would make an awesome weatherman: "Well.. obviously, we have a.. tornado in.. Lincoln Park.."

In Max Hall we trust.

Tonight I drove a Volvo to IKEA while listening to Ace of Base. Thanks Sweden!

Nerds calling nerds nerds

"To pay your bill press 1. To pay with a debit card press 1. To process your debit card ending in 4833 press 1. To confirm press 1."

I CHMOD directories like I play slots: 777 all the way

If I had ADHD I'd buy a Ford Focus, to see if it helped.

Anybody have a Dribbble invite?

Man's greatest achievements: 1) Creating Fire 2) Inventing the wheel 3) Convincing women that tights are actually pants

Mission: Convert all friends/family members that use Yahoo to Gmail is now complete. 11 people converted.

How long until one of you nerds recreates Angry Birds in Minecraft? Get on that, people.

She wanted to draw me naked, but it all seemed kinda sketchy.

I hit the random article link on Wikipedia and got "Complete spatial randomness." Yep.

You know those jerks that would always pick Oddjob when playing Goldeneye? They're all the Gnomes in World of Warcraft.

I'm going to market a line of reverse-voodoo dolls. They will be called revoodoo dolls and I will soon be rich and famous.

I think my crabbing friend is on to something. The bib and mallet works wonders on eggs bennidict.

These stickers are Scratch and sniff, they just smell like unscented glossy plastic.

Then he can do Livejournal next; it'll star all of us in Junior High.

Sorkin's next movie should be about Orkut: It should be in Portuguese and not make sense to the rest of the world.

Does anybody know how I can get a hold of this person? http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?sid=827233677

Do NOT spray roaches with PAM. It makes them INVINCIBLE.

We're hiring front-end and python developers if anybody in the Seattle area is interested, get in touch. :)

Maybe we can get Derek Anderson to fight some animals and spend some time in jail. It seems to be working well for the Redskins.

Subway: Have it your way

Jimmy Johns: WILL YOU HURRY UP?! THERE ARE PEOPLE IN LINE BEHIND YOU!