This football game feels like airing our dirty laundry out on ESPN.

Wanna know a place where Black Friday sales happen every day? It's called THE INTERNET. Stop standing in line at 2am you jackasses.

Happy Kthxgiving

Practicing for Cyber Monday: "ASL?"

Slicing open a Tauntaun, crawling in, going to bed.

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday = WTF

I can totally see how living in this for months would be annoying.

Photos that I took of the now on the way to work are on Facebook, or you can view them on Picasa: http://j.mp/ar9040

They're putting salt on the road outside my window. We'll see if it snows tomorrow. :)

Can somebody please send Peyton Manning some Phoenix tourism packets?

Jimmy Wales is staring at your soul asking for Wikipedia donations. This is also known as "Geek Tithing."

Did anybody ever love Raymond?

Tom from MySpace: The original Forever Alone.

If your birthday is in this part of November, you are a Valentine's day baby. You're welcome.

Don't ask a woman to marry you. TELL HER TO

In Soviet Russia, you save Jesus

If I know one thing, it's that my life has significantly improved since adding the D: smiley into my life

My facial hair seems rather sheepish this month. I swear I'm against prostate cancer!

Unexplicable high-speed projectile? Fired from Los Angeles? Iron Man.

You never see vanity plates with the amber alerts. It's never "AWSMDAD" or "DNTFINDME"

Second weekend in a row where both the Sun Devils and the Cardinals lose in the last minutes of each game.

My smoke detector doesn't seem to know the difference between a five-alarm fire and taking tater tots out of the oven.

Fist-bumping the buttons makes traffic signals change faster. Trust me.

I'm waiting for a bunch of Jewish NYC landlords to get together and form the "Rent seems pretty reasonable" party.

The library of congress has a deal with twitter to archive all its tweets. Lolz @ my grandkids if you're reading this. GTFO n00bz