If there is a dollar-sign in your name, I probably don't ¢are about you.

American Idiot is one of those rare musicals where the title itself describes its demographic. Also: Cats

I think Twisted Sister is finally ready to take it.

When it comes to video conferencing, the Skype's the limit

I'm a stranger to love who's unaware of all the rules.

How long has Mayor McCheese been mayor anyways, like 40 years? What kind of a term is that?

I want to go to a strip club and sing "pants on the ground" to the dancers. I'd time how long it takes to get kicked out

Nobody in Canada is outraged that Kurt Warner is retiring, AND FOR THE LAST TIME, NO, HE'S NOT A HOCKEY PLAYER

More like "Catcher in the Die," amirite?

iPad's $499 price-point includes the ability to bitch and moan at the end of the year when Apple slashes hundreds off the original price

Alright everybody, that's enough Apple tampon jokes. We get it.

First person to dress as Moses and put the 10 commandments on two Apple tablets wins the entire internet.

Do you think Jack Bauer ever gets sick of random cliffhangers occurring every 60 minutes of his life?

It's called "The Bachelor" because if you're married and you watch it, it's what your husband becomes.

Somebody needs to tell those people that Obama is not going to personally read the 7,535 comments on his Facebook posts

I can see Russia from my house currently, ugh.. this is so much responsibility.

Not having a remote control is hard. I have to try to convince myself that I like CSI: Miami

There's no remote in my hotel room. This is how the pioneers much have watched television.

Idea for Minneapolis Star Headline Tomorrow: "Hart-breaker"

Is that Favre's last pass ever?

"I'm Jamie Martin and Windows 7 was MY idea" isn't working so far as a pick-up line.

It seems like all of Canada is a Vikings fan by default, which is kind of strange.

Too bad it's going to be Colts vs Saints next month.

You can text the word "HAITI" to 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross.

You can text the word "HAITI" to Jamie Martin to confuse me.

My legitimacy has almost gotten to a point where I really should cease.

Guys guys guys, you can call off the search. I've found Fruitopia. It's here in Canada, it's cold and confused, but alive nonetheless.

I'm not saying this "Canada for Haiti" telethon is bad, but I hear Haiti is throwing a telethon to try to help it.

This "Canada for Haiti" telethon could really use George Clooney's help.

We've arrived safe and sound, the train ride was breathtaking. Our hotel room now is amusingly bad, but we won't be staying here for long.

Just arrived in Seattle from Phoenix. Nice to get out of the rain. Wait.. what?

The dude next to me at the airport recognized the sounds of linux booting up on my laptop. It's the nerd version of a secret handshake.

I'm not saying he's obsese, but if I was a Slave Leia I'd stay far far away from him.

Moving to Canada in 3 Days. If anybody wants to hang out before then please get in touch. I'm not doing anything on this rainy Tuesday night

I had some Dippin Dots ice cream today, it gave me 500 tiny headaches.

Hey guys, I have to go.. Jay Leno wants to use this computer.

Why is everybody saying Conan needs our help? I'm pretty sure Conan the Barbarian can handle things on his own.

I somehow made $40 from ads with my blip.tv account. Did this happen to anybody else? I didn't make any scandalous videos in my sleep did I?

The worst part about having a cold? It's really difficult to nail all the high notes when singing "Seasons of Love"

Any Cardinals fans calling Papa Johns and getting a pizza with their free 14 toppings?

Tickets unsold. Will sell them for below face value now. 2 Lower Level 30 yard line tickets for $240 total: http://i.imgur.com/RIuyB.png

I have lower level tickets to the Cardinals playoff game tomorrow next to mine that I'll sell at face value to anybody interested.

"lol" is English's new period at the end of every sentence lol

A person's success in Farmville and their success in life are inversely proportional to each other

I'm impressed Kanye let 2009 finish.