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A second Nigerian was arrested locked in a plane this week? Look guys, maybe we should start helping them claim their lottery prizes.

Minutes on a microwave are longer than actual time-keeping minutes, right?

Thunder and Lightning, a Phoenix Christmas miracle

I'm pretty sure Avatar is the most amazing movie I've seen in my whole life.

Anybody wanna see Avatar today? We could take pictures of ourselves seeing Avatar and set it as our avatars.

I hope Obama isn't mad I'm moving.

The startup I founded just got its first round of funding! I report to Vancouver, Canada Jan 28th. I couldn't be more happy!

That's the Brown's first rushing touchdown of the season? No wonder LeBron thinks he can play football.

Honesty is the best policy, shortly followed by "Whoever smelt it, dealt it."

Toby Gerhart, lowly HR Rep for Dunder Mifflin is up for a Heisman trophy?

I'm sick of the NFL playoffs. Can't we just create a committee and computers to judge how good teams are, regardless of their records?

Kurt Warner to the Vikings: "Get off my lawn."

Last night was more random than Luke Wilson being in a television commercial.

Remember guys: Kurt Warner versus Brett Favre tonight, so get all your good "old white guy" jokes ready.

Getting the hang of WoW, I did my first Warsong Gulch (Capture the Flag) last night and took first place! :) Screenshot: http://9.gp/ch3

Guys, guys, guys, I can see my breath outside!

(This is the Phoenix equivalent of a "first snow.")

I'm trying to find the words to describe this burger without being disrespectfullllllllllllll

These high school kids are throwing footballs into giant Dr Pepper cans for scholarship money.

This is everything wrong about America.

I saw Insane Clown Posse bumper stickers at the gas station tonight. It sent a shiver down my spine; there are ICP fans that can _drive_

If my spouse ever sends me bitchy IMs about our financial future typed like a 7-year old - I'm divorcing her. #johnhancock

Kinda hard to win when the refs aren't cheating for you, eh Florida?

Even God hates New Moon: http://9.gp/ch2

THE MONKEY IN THE SHRINE OF THE SILVER MONKEY IS THREE PIECES. ONE OF THEM IS QUITE OBVIOUSLY A HEAD ON A STICK. WHY IS THIS SO HARD?

"You have been outbid on Nickelodeon Aggro Mega Crag GUTS Agro Cragg Rock - Glow (170412890976)" - This is probably for the better.

Bing was down for 3 hours today. Did anybody notice? Yeah, me neither.

"Back to Moe."

"Thanks Mike!"

Drinking Game for "Jersey Shore" tonight: Whenever they drink, you drink.

The next person who sends me a horse on Farmville is going to get said horse's head where they sleep.

It's really hard to pick my favorite part of Steven Seagal's Wikipedia article

I can't decide what's worse, Gay marriage failing in New York or Nickelback getting nominated for a "Hard Rock" Grammy.

Fine, nobody wants to play Sumotori Dreams http://9.gp/chf - But I just played my sister and it's the BEST EVAR

(Also, she's bad at it.)

Taylor Swift thinks that boys wouldn't date her because she wasn't "popular" enough. In reality, it's just that we REALLY hate country music

Freelancing has several advantages, but the Christmas Party is always boring.

Plus I picked myself for Secret Santa this year, again!

Fact: By saying "Fact:" in front of a statement it automatically becomes fact.

Passed by "In Touch Ministries" in Tempe today and had a good laugh to myself

I don't need an Amazon Wish List, I just link people to this page: http://9.gp/cg9

Jamie Martin search ranks: Google: #2 (Finally!), Yahoo: #4, Bing: #1 and #2, Ask: #1

Yahoo! is dead to me.