When I was a kid, sometimes I would log onto Nick.com without my parents permission

Steve Nash :(

Seesmic is killing Ping.fm and offering a $50 a month plan. Who's their demographic? Insane people?

Gay Oreos are bad but you're cool with Black on White cookie action?

Set my code editor's font size to 11px today. I'm getting old.

Soloed Diablo last night on my first try, so if the world seems less evil today you can thank me. Anybody else playing?

Highlight of my night: Hearing a try-hard 13 year old misprounounce "Molotov Cocktail" over and over again as "Mazel Tov Cocktail"

Looking at rentals in Fountain Hills today. When the landlord asks me why I'm moving I tell them I'm WAY into fountains.

Yesterday I ordered a Shaved Ice Machine for my house. Ladies?

To be a nice Canadian guy stuck in Phoenix only to lose a heartbreaking playoff series, I hope Steve Nash is calling Shane Doan right now

I like to change my info to "The Police" in other people's phones. When I call it shows "The Police is calling." Some friends don't answer.

"Wait, that man is the Hulk?" - My Mom, halfway through the movie

I'm pretty sure the "G" in the Google Doodle today is the Human Centipede

To all my stoned friends right now: The cops totally know, dude. They're coming now. Dude I swear. Look just relax, OH NO WAS THAT SIRENS?

Look, until there's a hologram of 'N Sync preforming "It's Gonna Be Me" at Coachella color me unimpressed.

I have a Playstation 3. My psn id is livejamie. Add me! Any games our accessories you'd recommend?

Does anybody think it would be fun to go see a Coyotes playoff game with me in Glendale?

The uproar with the iPhone Instagram users regarding Android is one of the worst things I've seen on the internet. Grow up.

"Safely unsubscribe?" What, are you going to throw knives at me if I try a different way?

Does anybody have a DotA 2 Key? I'd like to give it a shot.

Wait a second, Dick Cheny had a heart?

Jamie's American Idol predictions: Tiny Hispanic girl beats Tiny Blonde girl in final. Also Jermaine isn't going to make it past March.

With the GOP primaries ending and Peyton Manning being released today I'm wondering where all these rich white guys are going to end up.

Hey look, Storage Wars is on the tele... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Words that make me automatically ignore what you're saying: Webinar, Bieber, Hubby, Preggers, Totes.

It's impossible to feel manly while "swiffering" the floor. And don't suggest grunting while doing so, I tried that.

Reba McEntire then Biz Markee then Skrillex? The DJ at this horse show its either trolling or a mad genius.

$ git add EVERYBODY_PANIC

Can we all pitch in and send some actual cherries to whoever makes cherry-flavored medicine?

Added to the list of things Daisy barks at: Cows, Goats, Donkeys, Horses.

Dear World,

On behalf of all Arizonans, we're really, really sorry about GoDaddy.

"Don't cry for me Indiana..."

Just saw a large goat hop the fence onto the 101 overpass. I yelled "what the hell is that" at my sisters. The end.

Just saw a large goat hop the fence onto the 101 overpass. I yelled "what the hell is that" at my sisters. The end.

I'm just worried that America is going to get really sick and Newt is going to leave us for a younger, healthier country.

If Newt does get two terms, living on the moon doesn't seem THAT bad.

Jan Brewer saw a brown man at the airport and simply thought he was an illegal. It's a simple mistake people.

Ball So Hard University: Now taking applications for kickers

Does anybody else get a Spanish accent when ordering from a Mexican restaurant?

I wish I lived in Seattle again. Looks like you are all having so much fun.

Rare winter tornadoes touchdown in the midwest. People in Indianapolis suprised as they haven't seen a touchdown for a year now.

Anybody else keep opening a new tab to reddit like an idiot today?

Is Vernon Davis okay? Can somebody check?

Today is 1/12/12 and my friend Matt is declaring it National Mic Check Day

Beyonce's baby is named "Blue Ivy" which sounds like a beautiful stripper or a luscious glade plug-in scent

Spotify just ruined a mix cd suprise by broadcasting a bunch of the songs I was researching to facebook #firstworldproblems